Archived-FU

I saw this one scrolling through a NerfOnline archive.

Basically, you type about doing something that affects the next poster, and then the next poster reactes and does something else.

I'll start.

Zach dips an enraged Domo-Kun into super glue and throws it at the next person.

AHH! get it off me!
*Jumps in pool of nail polish remover*

*Throws Micro$oft Windoze Vista bugs at the next person*

Zach throws a few hundred programmers at the bug.

Gives the next poster the bad times computer virus.

*Uses Linux*  :laugh:

*Straps rocket powered rollerblades on a rabid dog and sends them towards the next poster*

Grabs tough book and router and heads toward Alaska.  Where the fuel in the rollerblades will freeze.  Grabs stick incase person with linux comes.

Hey, this looks fun :laugh:!

*Freezes stick with liquid nitrogen and shatters over head, wearing heavy snowsuit to not freeze in Alaska*

*Makes biomechanically modified taco armed with M82 A1 .50cal sniper rifle and Formula One racing car, sending it to shoot and destroy the next person to post*

Lays tacks in road.  Picks up back up stick.

*Umm, slices stick in two with katana*

*Makes banana cream pie to throw at next person to post*

Pulls plexiglass shiled out of behind to protect against pie.  Then pulls out a titanium and carbon nanotube UGLY stick for next poster.

*Uses MAGIC to turn unbreakable ugly stick into handsome stick and gets hit until better-looking.*

*Prepares bomber plane armed with lawsuits*

I will have to hit you alot.
Opens up with anti lawyer cannons.

That'd better have been a joke!

*Realizes anti-lawyer cannons only effective against lawyers, not lawsuits. Doesn't do anything to prevent pointless assault.*

*Tells George W. Bush on next poster!*

Brings to bear the flamethrower defense field, and terrorist strike force for the Bush Guy.  releases depleted anti-laywer cannons and a bag of lawyers into next posters immediate region.

*Calls Judge Judy to stop the lawyers in their, um, airspace*

*Sends Bill Gates to next poster's house to trash their computer, preventing them from posting a counterattack*

Remembers bill gates made the computer and owns the company, he has his interns do all of that, and forces him out of the house with an ugly stick.  Sends shipment of tampons to next posters house.

*Suddenly moves to new house and changes identity to avoid massive tampon shipment*

*Piles 101 newborn babies with colic into next poster's house and puts a molotov cocktail in diaper of a baby with a lighter*

Watches babies burn and puts it on Youtube.
Eats next poster.

*Blasts way out and wires jaws shut*

*Kitty-Bombs next poster with my 30 pound cat of untrimmed claw goodness*

Eats wire and watches as previous poster steps into unmentioned land mine and beartrap field.  Eats Cat.

*Unknown to last poster, cat stuffed with C4 explosive*

*Drops missile full of sick and dying puppies on next poster's house*

*Administers lethal injections to the puppies.*

*Has a special bong for huffing kittens sent to the next poster's house.*

~Zach

*Hijacks postman's truck that's delivering the bong, drives and bails off cliff*


*Hires the Master Chief, Leon S. Kennedy, Sargeant Johnson, Dr. Salvador and other video game characters to surround and eliminate next poster*

*Grabs shotgun before leaving house.*

*Holy crap! Drops and slide kicks Leon's legs out, stands up, shoots Master Chief in visor.*

*Runs to next poster's house and completely dresses them up to look like me so that I don't take the heat.*

~Zach

After being nagged on by various people that I don't know I look in the mirror and realized whats going on...."Curses"!

*Hires Duke Nukem to attack next poster*

*Hides in outhouse until Duke Nukem gives up*

*Dresses up as livestock and sneaks up on next poster with hunting knife*

*Last person didn't know that the costume had a recording of a mooing cow that played whenever it walked.*

*Moves out of the way and punches cow's hand/hoof.*

*Uses 20ft pole to knock a beehive onto the next poster's head.*

~Zach

EATS BEES.
Makes fun of next poster until they die for not having enough guns.

*Rises from the dead and eats previous poster's brain after showing off an actually rather large arsenal*

*Calls Ash to shoot next poster with his Boomstick*

Remembers Ash doesn't Nerf Anymore and as he fumbles with the Boomstick, stock bashes ash with Boomstick and shoots zombie deaddumpster and steals his small arsenal.

*Unknown to last poster, detonation charge hidden in weapons pack activated when arsenal is stolen. Blown into small pieces when weapons explode while strapped to back*

*Realises constant resurrection is due to invincibility and and fires 500 fuel-air bombs at next poster*

*Dies, and then stays dead. But comes back alive and beats up the next poster* (it better be Nathan)

*Knocks out n-strike kills him
*Nukes next poster with a 100 mega-ton.

Dodges all 500 air bombs.

Calls deaddumpster to the battlefield. Dead dumpster is scared of beastly arsenal and goes and hides in his dumpster......


Ps. I just couldnt resist.

*Leaves dumpster to get psychiatric help*

*Fills dumpster with molotov cocktails, C4 explosive, 5 white phosphorus grenades and 10 M67 frag grenades to launch out of catapult at next poster(a good way to get rid of a dumpster I apparently can't resist to hide in)*

*Megamannt92 vaporizes*

Luckly I was wearing a regeneration armband.

*Sets up a laptop and fires off a highly explosive out of the USB port*

*Dies, again*
*But comes back alive again*
*And snipes the next poster from a mile away with my modded crossbow* (it better be Nathan again)

*Friendly fire, it wasn't Nathan. The shot thwopped off the wall beside me. I looked and laughed*

*Locks an MP3 player playing all Spice Girls at full blast to next poster's head before destroying the key*

PS. The MP3 player, holder and headphones are made of a carbon and titanium-based alloy, so the wearer will have to melt it in a temperature that would bake their head.

*Changes song to Everything by Michael Bublé. Enjoys the song 'till it's done. Then gets a drink and smashes the glass on the next poster's head.* (it better be Nathan AGAIN)

*Deletes all other songs and breaks cord thingy that plugs into computer to download songs. Invincible, so the glass does nothing*

*Shrinks next poster and seals them in bottle of epoxy to die of the fumey goodness*

I was wearing glue repellant the whole time... Runnes to home depot... Buys a chainsaw....

And Chainsaws the next poster.

Hires Dr. Salvador to win the chainsaw battle and do what he does in Resident Evil 4, cuts the previous poster's head off*

*Hits next person with a pie of deathly anti-resurrection goodness*

Swalloes pie.. Dead dumpster realizes that that was a normal apple pie he stole from his dumpster. I thank him for it and leave. He is embarrased and goes and hides in his dumpster.

wait behind next posters house. And in the morning when they get up. Charged with a modded Magstrike with my hunting stefansTM

*I couldn't have stole the pie because it was in my dumpster(which doesn't exist since I packed it full of explosives and fired it at Mega a little while earlier) and I can't steal what is mine, so the deadly pie poisons previous poster*

*Stefans bounce off of me, I laugh*

*Dumps sulphuric acid on next poster, and I know it's sulphuric acid because I checked, so no dumping corn syrup or any other liquid on next poster*

*Puts Up Metal Umbrella* *Burns through quite quickly so runs and comes back to kick the next poster's a--* (I'm begging you, please be Nathan)

Hunting stefans, and where did you get an X-bow.  Realizing that these stink, eats everyone else.

I don't have a crossbow. It's a game. Since you ate everyone now, is the game over?

Unless someone eats me from the inside out.  I get it now.  Eats random razors to througly kill all who I ate.

*Invincible, I can't die. Previous poster explodes, it's not good to be that full*

*Trans forms next poster into exactly 772 sour skittles for General Cole, mails bag of skittles to him the next morning*

Smiles at dumpster and gives him a poster.  But since I was transformed and given to myself which is impossible, my mind (the grape skittle) explodes, releasing me.  Does the same to next poster, but takes away the grape skittle and mails it to canada, where it will never be seen again.

*Re-materializes into human form and beats up person who has my mind(if I lost it, I'm insane, I just fight crazier)*

*Magically makes next poster's pants and underwear invisible in the middle of the highway at rush hour*

Try to capitalize your C in Canada. And it will be seen again because I LIVE IN CANADA. Anyways, back to the game:

*Runs to the nearest bush. Covers self with leaves and twigs. Then hitch hikes all the way to my house where I get my Super Soakers (haha, Skits) and go to Cole and spray him with it.* (hahahahahahahahahaha)

Yeah, I live in Canada too, try to get it right.

*Wonders what previous poster was going to do to me*

*Hypnotizes next poster to run into room slowly filling with liquid nitrogen, I then smash the frozen person*

Drinks water from super soaker.  Licks self until I melt.  Canada, Canada CANADA!  Wonders what the heck he is doing with SuperSoakers. 

*Designs a stainless steel Super Soaker, fills it with acid and fires it at the next poster*

Since supersoakers are incredibly slow... Dodges all acid.......

Burnes next poster with hotglue

*Been burned too many times with it(no, really), so attack is very ineffective*

*Sprays bleach into next posters' eyes nose and mouth so they can't breathe or see*

pulls manta ray above my face... Blocks all bleech...

Throws nerf stefan grenade at next poster..

There are no good grenades.  Takes stefans loads new SF and shoots everyones eyes out.  Then crotch bashes them.

*Beats previous poster to death in blind rage and watches their ghost run away screaming like my 6 year-old cousin*

*Kills next poster with unblockable incendiary grenade and casts spell on them so the only way they could be resurrected would be to do some sort of voodoo ritual in the middle of New York*

Has buddies to rituals.  Cuts all other posters arms, legs, and teeth out.  And castrates them for good measure.  Then sells to circus where they will burned at the stake in the second performance.  They are also knocked out for the entire thing.

*The burning wakes me up, I regenerate and run away*

*Kills next poster and guards the corpse to kill it again if it comes back to life*

*i go all jacky chan on deaddumpster and kill him*

*lay EMP charges on the next poster*

*Laugh at attempt to kill me, kicks previous poster in the crotch*

*Throws next person into the final board of Lemmings, only a seasoned Lemmings player or myself could beat this*

*Presses the nuke button...All the Lemmings explode*
MUAHAHA!
*Spills gas around next poster and gives them a lit blowtorch.

*Why thanks! Sucks up gas and blows it at previous poster*

*Chains next poster in a corner and puts Dr. Salvador in front of them, sits in chair to watch next poster be chainsawed Resident Evil 4 style*

Eats Chainsaw.  Is all of this going on inside my stomach?  With the razors and skittles?  Because if so, I am going to drink some bleach and kill you all. j/k

*Watches Cole's freakshow* Hmmm.. :grin:


*Uses the Afro of destuction! To transfer everyone back to the 70s*  :afro: :afro: :afro:

*Alriiighht! Disco style! Finds very fun to dance back in the 70s*

*Electrocutes next poster in pond with toaster, then eats the electrified fish, giving me shock powers*

Eats self to come to eighties stomach party.  WHY IS THERE A POND IN MY STOMACH WITH FISH?  I DON'T EAT FISH!

I can't die, and you exploded because of being too full a long time ago.

*Shocks next poster to death and puts them in pond with all others except me to shock them when they come they come back to life*

I have a black hole in my stomach and the white hole is right next to it, so you and all of your buddies are in limbo forever!

*Previous poster apparently forgot he exploded and everyone escaped a long time ago*

*Cleans next person's house to earn their trust and maybe become the next off topic mod through work and trust building*

Why would I explode when the explosion would be sucked into the black hole?  Trashes house worse.d

*Cleans previous poster's house and locks them out*

*Makes next person eat at Taco Bell until the docter considers them morbidly and irreversibly obese*

Eats lots of taco's..... Gets pretty big then sits on you and leaves... Disco party yeah... Remembers I brough 1000 dollars in my pocket and realizes since im in the 70's it could be worth something... realizes that I could wait... 25 years... And then the crossbow would come out all over again... Runs around and gets in shape...... Gets hungry after 3 days... Loses all weight... And steals every day from 7 eleven...lives in a box... and eventually after 22 years the first good nerf guns come out... buys all of them runs to places to buy modding materials with the 1,443 dollars you have. and eventually buys ever nerf gun from 1992 to 2007. and is the greatest collector ever... WHaHAHAHAHA.

Murders next poster with the best guns ever made modded to full potential.

Poops out skittles and flushes him.

Get's the cruise ship and rams James' face!

*Laughs and wonder's what previous poster was going to do to me*

*Steals lollipop from next poster*

Cries! And then gets an F-16 Fighter Jet and crashes it into James' mom!

*Wonders what previous poster was going to do to me*

*Gives next poster fatal brain freeze by getting a bad doctor to encase their brain in chocolate ice cream*

Freezes, then gets a truck and hits James' dad!

Yeah, what is with the hating?  Have you seen Die Hard 4.0 yet?  The SUV, and Mai is you mamma.  Eats you all again, than takes beano to cure the gas leaking from n-strike's brain.

I don't hate you. It was just a joke. And yours better be too 'cause remember, I don't like kidding 'round. And when I don't like something, I swear. So, watch out or soon you'll be seeing **** everywhere. (I didn't swear. I just put 4 stars.)

He'll be seeing stars???

*Wonders what previous poster was going to do to me*

*Asks next poster why this game got so serious all of a sudden*

*Answers DD's Question: Because Of James.*

*Gets a PVC couplered Crossbow and shoots next poster in the You Know What*

*Matrixes the dart and ignites it with flamethrower and uses telekinetics to send it back at previous poster*

*turns next poster's keyboard and mouse to metal and sends 999,000,000,000 volts to them so they die when they post their exploits*

*Goes on to different computer.*

*Asks Mega If I Can Be An Admin.*

Ends topic after next three posts because the game isn't fun anymore.

Listens softly... Hears heart beating... Realizes it was just dd hiding in his dumpster snoring...

Recovers crossbow that I got... mods it and shoots next poster... With ease

*It turns out the previous poster actually rigged the crossbow with C-4. Runs away and lets previous poster die*

*Thinks GC is being grouchy and cries that the topic is ending*

*Gorilla glues Brute costume to next poster and sets MC (who has a missile pod and a plasma sword) loose on him*

No triple posting. *Beats previous poster with frozen waffle*

Lets thread continue until it gets boring.

Applauds.....By the way gorilla glue sucks....

Throws bananas at next poster... And sneaks up and hits with banana's

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6C204-K4q1U

I didn't triple post, the one I was replying to dissapeared! :shocked:

*Gets my HUGE Language Arts teacher to sit on next poster*

-Foam :cool:

*Throws doughnut at next poster*

*HUGE Language arts comes tumbling towards next poster*

dodges.

Rolls towards next poster.

Foam, I know. He triple posted after you were talking to him and then deleted his posts.

*Dodges and watches previous poster roll off a cliff*

*Destroys next poster's computer*

*laughs at sourskittles and applauds dd*

*summons an invincible, unstealable, unlimited wish genie and gets a new PC after dodging the shrapnel*

*Super/Gorilla/Hot/Epoxy glues and Scotch/Painters/Masking/Duct tapes next poster into a car going towards the edge of a cliff with a 2 second time bomb and a bunch of turds in it*

/off topic\ You can delete you posts? /offtopic\

EDIT: oh yeah, you can. Cool.

-Foam

I dodged it dippy... USES feet to steer away...

Chases next poster with a drill...

Kicks the drill into your face.

Gives the next poster an ice cream.

*YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!*

*Tells next poster that leprechauns hide their gold in live electrical sockets and tells them we'll split it if they get it with their hands only*

*Doesn't fall for it*

*Forces next poster to read all the most idiotic posts ever made (but excludes the funny ones)*

-Foam :cool:

goes back in time and kills however invented halo.

then nukes foam

Eats Nuke.  Hugs next poster.

*Get's previous poster sick with whatever I have*

*Shoots next poster in the eye at point blank with my modded LBB, they have to wear a piece of drywall as a bandage-type item because they used all of their current funds on guns*

Drywall?  My LBB eats up drywall by chipping away at it.  Eats dd's LBB.

Same with mine, I've done almost everything you could do to it.

*Wonders what previous poster was going to do to me*

*Hands next poster an adorable fuzzy little tarantula, if Cole eats it he'll get sick(even though he should be dead because of what he keeps eating)*

Cole eats you all.  Cole then takes pepto-bismal(sp).  Hugs next poster.

*gets creeped out*

*Hurls axe at next poster*

Eats Axe,  Huggles.

Runs away screaming from cole....

Doesnt do anything to next poster.

*Dies of lack of creativity on the part of the last poster*

*ALT CTRL DELETES next poster*

Reopens Firefox.  Huggles.

Pulls a Mac 11A1 and waits for Cole while loading the INIT 9403 virus on all of his computers.

Straps up with twin Streetsweeper shotguns and dual Auto-Assault 12s and goes rampaging after next poster.

I eat all of that junk.
Then poop and sell it.  Ammo and all.  Uses 1337 hackzor skillz to stop the virus.  Puts next poster in a room with N-strike and seals all the doors, and windows, and they cant escape or kill him.

Realizes Cole said nothing about vents, or about escaping the room, so I crawl through vent and out of building.

Sets up a Diet Coke and Mentos bomb the size of a large SUV and waits for Cole to eat it.

Eats SUV and takes a dump on Alpha.  Nuff Said.

*slaps next poster with an uneatable n-strike who is covered in burning cornchips and immolated superglue*

-Foam :cool:

Uses titan on N-strikes Balls.  Both barrels.  Then throws body on Foam.  Eats next poster.

*Puts on a heat and acid-proof suit and smacks Cole's stomach with n-strike's burning body. Uses dual energy swords as steps and climbs out of Cole's throat. Sets a remote time bomb and action jump/flips out of Cole's crooked teeth.*

-Foam :cool:

Re eats Foam as bomb goes off.  Leaves next poster to think about what they have done in their life.

Realizes I don't care and will never regret any of my evil acts.

Ties next poster to electric chair and sends Justin Timberlake in to give him a lap dance. Naked.

Beats Timberlake at scrabble so he does not give lap dance and releases me.  Gives next poster a peniscar.

*Stabs Timberlake in the face and feeds him to Great White Sharks*

This is old.....but hehe....I'm glad someone bumped it!

*Hooks next poster with a hockey stick*

I was thinking about this lately...

*Canadian, immune to hockey stick attack*

*Calls Angel and tells him to eat next poster*

*Goes back in time and gets T-Rex to eat angel*

*Sends in the Droid army to the next 10 posters*

*when droids are either dead or gone launches a 200 Megaton H-bomb at next poster*

*Angel Eats Dinosaur and bomb, destroys army with Doomsayer*

*Throws mittens at next poster*

You didn't address my H-bomb...

*catches mittens on hands and shoves them down dumpsy's throat*

Launches nerf/dumpsy seeking missles

*Deaddumpster watches as random person named Dumpsy gets killed*

*Throws Poison Rugs at next poster*

I addressed it, read a bit more closely.

Eats Thread

Cole gets fat from eating thread, Mega Laughs.

*Throws a scanner at next poster*

 *Wonders if thats a scanner coming then is hit by it*
 
 *Flocks of ravenous birds descend to eat me but notice the next poster and attacks him*

*dual street sweeper 12's and shoots all birds*

*launches bomb at next 2 posters*

*throws mittens at deaddumpster*

 *Pwns each bomb with my SF*

 *Drills a hole straight to HELL just big enough for the next poster to fall into.*
 *Also throws mittens at Deaddumpster.*

*Lives in Canada, could always use mittens for when it gets cold out*

*Zaps next poster with Nintendo Zapper (Hint, Hint)*

 *Reminds Deaddumpster that Wii Zapper only works on Wii's.*

 *Drills anothe hole to HELL just big enough for the next poster to fall into.*

*No, not Wii zapper, the original NES zapper, which kills with awesomeness*

*Thanks for making another hole to my beloved home*

*Throws ceramic tiles at next poster*

Shoots them with modded 4b

throws RPG at next poster (btw, not rocket propelled grenade but really p****d garfield[my friends cat])

 *Scares cat away with a picture of 'yo mamma*

 *Blasts the next two posters with my SF (pwned!)*

 And Deaddumpster are you saying you modded a Nintendo zapper to shoot nerf darts?

Well, I'm working on it.

*Looks at the mark the SF gave me. Nothing much compared to how much Doomsayer hurt*

*Send Anton Girdeux to destroy next poster. If you don't know who that is, type him into Wikipedia and search through the Syphon Filter characters*

 *Shows Anton the end of (is it game one or two? Maybe 3?) the game where he dies. He runs.*

 *Forces the next poster into a straightjacket then into a room where spongebob is playing on a HUGE screen TV.*

BTW DD that sounds kool.

Busts out tv screen with head and eats way out of straight jacket*

Sends next person an envelope filled with black mambas that are flame proof, bullet proof, smash proof, dart proof, bomb proof, pretty much invincible...*

 *Stamps "RETURN TO SENDER" on envelope(good one 'eh?)*

 *Sends lawsuits to next poster for posting after me*

*defends using lawyer cannons*

*Sends a Wolverine to rip next poster to shreds*

 *Puts a bunch of nice juicy steaks down one of the holes I dug to HELL to distract wolverine.*

 *Plants explosives on next posters arsenal*

BTW Mega I said law SUITS emphasis on suits. Like suits made of law. Get it?

*Gets John McClain from Die Hard to dismantle the explosives with a toothpick and McGyver's Hairgel and throws the bomb in the Hudson Bay.*

*Throws an angry porcupine with needles made out of cubic zirconium at the next poster.*

 *Uses porcupine's quills as a telescope then throws it in a convieniently sized oven*

 *Force feeds burnt porcupine to next poster*

*sells properly cooked and great tasting porcupine to underplrivileged children in western montana*

*Pays random village idiot to run at the next poster*

*Why send me to run at me?*

*Fills up next poster's house with fuzzy wittle kittens (that I WUBS)*

*Sicks Donald brashear on The nest poster*

*Forces next poster to eat a raw quahog*


Cheats *eats cole, because I thought he said he was cole slaw*